Grace and Clarity

In part 1 of our Home Study of The Power of Now, we discussed how important it is to begin living in this Now moment.  It is easy to get stuck in the past or live only for the future, especially if our current circumstances present growth cloaked in challenge.  But Tolle reveals that by avoiding the present we miss the opportunity to experience the empowering lessons our lives are trying to offer us.  To review our last discussion, please visit “Home Study: The Power of Now, pt.1.”

This month we celebrate Valentine’s Day, and you will notice many of our February blogs focus on the transformative potential of relationships.  Today’s lesson takes a look at how relationships help us grow–right here in the immediacy of the Now.

Whether you are single or attached, a boss or an employee, a woman or man you likely struggle as you interact with the world sometimes.  Each exchange we have during the day presents us with another chance to see something in ourselves that needs releasing, healing or simply acknowledging.  Tolle is a master at describing how we can harness the magic each moment offers our spiritual growth, so we look to him for inspiration this month…

Today’s text: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Publisher: Namaste Publishing; Copyright, 1999 by Eckhart Tolle

Study pages: pp. 82, 158-160

I used to think relationships existed to make my life better; I believed my loved ones should harbor a desire to help me feel complete.  But as a spiritual practitioner I quickly came to see that relationships are actually tools Life uses to help us grow and cultivate underdeveloped skills.  Much to my chagrin, I realized that relationships are actually designed to trigger my “stuff” at least as often as they ignite my joy.  Take Tolle’s powerful words on pp. 158-159, for example (paraphrased):

“Whenever your relationship brings out the ‘madness’ in you, be glad.  For, what was unconscious is being brought up to the light.  Unconsciousness and knowing cannot coexist for long…If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again.  But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, you will be aligning yourself with the Higher Consciousness that wants to be born into this world.”

Again I admit, this was not at all what I thought relationships were for!  Yet, as we read on to Tolle’s view of what a healthy relationship can be, we see a picture taking shape that warms the heart with suggestions of hope, trust and spiritual maturity (p. 160):

“If you both agree that the relationship will be your spiritual practice, so much the better.  Express your feelings as soon as they occur so that you do not create a grievance that can fester.  Learn to give expression without blaming.  Learn to listen to your partner in an open, nondefensive way.  Giving space to others and to yourself–is vital.  Love cannot flourish without it.”

But let’s be honest: sometimes situations are not so rosy.  You can do your part to embody the above practices, but your coworkers may not be open to having an “energetically illuminated disagreement” with you, for example.  What then?

On one of the most dog-eared pages of my book–page 82–Tolle gives us the answer.  The directive is so unambiguous and profound, he states it twice: once in paragraph 2 and again in paragraph 3.  I actually numbered the steps, “1, 2, 3” in the margin, just to remind myself how clear-cut the options are for dealing with difficult circumstances:

“If you find your here and now makes you unhappy, you have three options:

Remove yourself from the situation,

Change it or

Accept it totally.”

I consider this sentence to be one of the most empowering in Tolle’s book.  That may sound like a nice word–empowering–until we realize many people are actually afraid of their own power.  Isn’t it true that if we claim our inherent power we can no longer live as victims?  We no longer survive meagerly off the pity of others; we can no longer use the past as an excuse to underachieve.  Indeed, although these three steps are easy to say, for many they are nearly impossible to execute.

Please note that in paragraph 2, Tolle reminds us that “change it” means taking action and speaking out if possible.  As always, once that is done we are reminded of the importance of surrendering the outcome and returning to the Now moment, allowing the situation to resolve itself as Life sees fit.  Like all true spiritual teachers, Tolle does not give us room to shirk the responsibility of making the choice to either embrace or abdicate our power.  He challenges us by saying:

“If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of these three options, and you must choose now.  Then accept the consequences.  No excuses.  No negativity.”

This is what I love about true spiritual teachers: They show us our options and then declare, “Choose.”  No chance for whining, no room for negotiation.  They remind us that true freedom is not free; as the spiritual teacher Adyashanti says, “All it costs, is everything.”  And if you think you can slide by simply by not choosing at all, I refer you to those great poets from the 70’s rock band Rush who remind us: “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.“

Using a pen and journal or piece of paper, contemplate the following this week:

1. If I believe others are here to help me be more conscious, what patterns are each person helping me see in myself?

2. My closest relationships are with (insert names).  With each person, do I need to learn to express my feelings sooner, give expression to my feelings without blaming or listen to them in an open, nondefensive way (or all of these)?

3. Where in my life do I need to own my power and remove myself from a situation?

4. Where in my life do I need to help effect a change by taking action or speaking out (followed by surrendering the outcome)?

5. Where in my life do I need to accept things as they are and focus on other energies instead, such as gratitude?

If you are enjoying the challenges Tolle is setting forth, I encourage you to begin to act on what you learn about yourself this month.  What’s more, you may find it helpful to discuss these questions with others of like mind.  Don’t be shy–members of yoga classes, meditation meetings and spiritual groups often wish to discuss their journeys.  All they need is you to invite the conversation!

In session three of our Tolle Home Study, we will be diving deeper into The Power of Now and why Tolle says that time for “processing” is not the answer to our problems…don’t miss it!  Be sure to click and follow our blog so you can be alerted when our next discussion commences.  Until then, stay present in the Now!

For more book discussions, please peruse the other selections from our Home Study category.  We also invite you to experience uplifting insights from the Higher Realms at www.hopeofthenewage.com/Wisdom

This month we begin a new Home Study series which focuses on the importance of being in the present moment.  Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now took the spiritual community by storm at the turn of this century; you may remember Oprah Winfrey extolling the virtues of his other popular book, A New Earth.  If you own a copy of The Power of Now you can follow along at home, but even those of you without your own text will likely be able to check one out at the library if you like.

Today’s text: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Publisher: Namaste Publishing; Copyright, 1999 by Eckhart Tolle

Study pages: pp. 178-188

As the new year unfolds, we have many opportunities to explore and implement our personal Intentions for 2012.  But without presence of mind or what Eckhart Tolle refers to as “being in the Now,” we cannot hope to remember our Intentions at all, let alone put Them into practice.

In order to manifest change in our lives, we must first be mindful of the daily lessons that are seeking to guide us into that change.  Being in the Now means we open to our lives as they are in this moment–not wistfully dwelling on how we wish they would be or how they once were.  On pages 178-179 and page 182 Tolle says (paraphrase),

“Allowing things to be” takes you beyond the mind with its resistance that creates the positive/negative polarities…Remember that we are not talking about happiness here.  For example, when a loved one has just died, you cannot be happy.  It is impossible.  But you can be at peace.  Underneath the sadness you will feel a deep serenity, a stillness, a sacred presence.  This is the emanation of Being (aka our sacred Inner Nature)…When you live in complete acceptance of what is, that is the end of all drama in your life.  (In a disagreement) you can still make your point clearly and firmly, but there will be no defense or attack, so it won’t turn into drama.  When you are fully conscious, you cease to be in conflict.”

An important element in experiencing the power of Now is to stop fighting what is taking place Now.  Try “allowing things to be” while you look within to notice your reaction to what is happening around you.  Knowledge is power, so if we find we are conflicted about our experience, that knowledge gives us the fuel to begin using our spiritual tools to dissolve anger, jealousy or fear.  We must not be afraid of challenges in the Now, because we never know which ones might be special moments of fierce grace waiting to make us strong, selfless or courageous.  Note Tolle’s words on pp. 183-185:

“All suffering is due to resistance.  On the level of form…there are cycles of success and cycles of failure.  If you cling and resist, it means you are refusing to go with the flow of life and you will suffer.  Growth is usually considered positive, but nothing can grow forever…it would eventually become monstrous and destructive.  Dissolution is needed for new growth to happen.  One cannot exist without the other.”

So now the question becomes, “If I begin opening to life’s opportunities for growth, even the difficult ones, where does my joy come from?  Where do I find my solace, my refuge, my sense of hope?”  And the answer is, the only place these can ever come from–within you.  On pp. 187-188 Tolle says:

“Things and conditions can give you pleasure, but they will also give you pain…they cannot give you joy.  Nothing can give you joy.  Joy arises from within as the joy of Being…Being takes you beyond the polar opposites of the mind and frees you…”

Make no mistake, Tolle’s words challenge us in a powerful way.  They require we take full responsibility for our condition and the way we experience the world.  So let’s begin our study of The Power of Now by honestly assessing how we feel about the challenges Tolle lays at our feet.  Using a pen and journal or piece of paper, contemplate the following this week:

1. Do I believe it is actually possible to be at peace, even if I am sad or suffering?  When in my life have I encountered such an experience?

2. Have I experienced a time when I was able to avoid drama because I was being very conscious and in the Now?  When?  How did that make me feel?

3. What challenges have made me stronger over time?  How can I remember these when I try to hide from a difficult Now moment?

4. Is it true that the only lasting satisfaction comes from within as the joy of Being?  How can I connect to that more often?

In session two of our Tolle Home Study, we will be diving deeper into The Power of Now and what the author has to say about relationships…don’t miss it!  Be sure to click and follow our blog so you can be alerted when our next discussion commences.  Until then, stay present in the Now!

Today we begin the third and final installment of our Home Study of the book Oneness, by Rasha.  If you have not already caught up on parts one and two of our series, I encourage you to visit them to help provide a foundation for today’s discussion!

Today’s text: Oneness, by Rasha

Publisher: Earthstar Press; copyright, 2003

Study pages: pp. 47-48; 50; 52-53

In part one of our “Home Study: Oneness” series, we noted that in any moment of conflict there is an opportunity for us to pause and take a breath before reacting in haste or judgment.  Part two examined how such a heart-centering response allows us to connect to our Higher Truth, from whence we can then speak our perspective without attachment to how others might receive it.

But if you are a passionate, emotional person–as many of us are–this may all sound unrealistic.  You may be thinking, “I’m not a robot; where are the feelings supposed to go while I try to implement these spiritual techniques?”  In today’s reading from Oneness, we see that the feelings are not supposed to “go” anywhere.  They are meant to be felt and experienced, understanding that we are in a human incarnation, after all!  On page 47, we contemplate why dramas arise at all (paraphrased):

“It is essential that the peeling back of the layers of experiential history imprinted within your cellular structure (releasing of old emotions, traumatic body memories, etc.) be accomplished systematically and completely so that you are able to liberate yourself from the constraints of the themes (victimhood, unworthiness, etc.) that characterize this lifetime.  Were this cellular imprinting to remain unreleased, the energy patterns would continue to trigger repetitions of situations calculated to stimulate dramatic emotional responses in areas where resolution may have been achieved.”

What this is saying is: if there is an area of old energy/trauma/fear that has NOT been healed, the old energy triggers a repeat of situations like those in the past in order to stimulate total release.  Until we have fully purged ourselves of the old patterns (such as responding as a victim, lying to avoid intimacy or valuing material wealth above spiritual growth), we will keep intersecting opportunities to engage those themes.

So as we said before, we are not supposed to be like robots when these repeat performances emerge.  We are meant to feel the feeling and engage our Truth in a  conscious way so that past pains may finally be purged from our systems.  We are meant to feel…the question is, how much?

Our challenge is in finding the appropriate balance between wanton emotional rampages and the total repression of emotions.  Our goal is the ability to allow our emotional responses to flow through us without them becoming us.  This means we do not attach meaning to them, blame to them or authority to them.  We simply notice their rise and fall, and move on toward a conscious Connection to the Source in that moment of challenge–as best we honestly can.  All this takes place so that we can purge ourselves of the old patterns we once held (p. 47-48):

“It is entirely to be anticipated that dramas transpire that bring into definition and absolute clarity the key emotional issues with which you have been working toward resolution in recent times.  It is in your highest possible interest that you permit yourself the experience of these emotional responses in order that the corresponding patterning can be eliminated from your energy field.  By resisting the inclination to repress such responses, one is able to make a shift to a new level.”

In the end, we begin to see that interactions function as tools for energetic release–sometimes our release, and sometimes that of someone else.  It is critical that we not become self-righteous and begin to judge another’s emotional mannerisms, simply because we know there is more going on than meets the eye (p. 48-49):

“The dramas into which you may be drawn as either observer or participant may not need to be taken at face value.  It may well be that you have been cast in the role of trigger for release work in which another being is engaged…Approach with gentleness and compassion the beings with whom you share this time, for each of you is performing to the very best of his abilities…It is far too easy to see the flaws in another being.  Rest assured that your own performance is equally marred…and the tendency toward the necessity to appear right only serves to undermine the objective.”

Finally, I would like to stress that repeat performances of certain dramas are not necessarily an indication that something is wrong–as long as you are using your spiritual tools and being conscious during times of conflict.  In fact, intensification is a sign that things may be right on track for you to gain freedom from such sand-traps (p. 50):

“Expect the pattern to continue to repeat itself for some time to come as you bring to the surface and release the layers of vibration held within your energy field…Familiar episodes of dramas intensify as you delve deeper into the process of release (and) does not indicate that you have failed.  Escalating intensity indicates a progression in the release work being undertaken.”

Let’s take a moment to apply all these principles to our own lives.  Using a pen and journal or piece of paper, contemplate the following:

1.  With whom do I tend to have recurring dramas over the years?

2. With each of these people, do I tend to vent in an openly aggressive manner, or do I repress my feelings (passively aggressive)?

3. What could I say to express my natural emotions to these people, while still being respectful of them as individuals on their own Journeys?

4. After a difficult encounter, how can I allow my emotions to come out safely? (ex. journaling, talking to a counselor, exercise, speaking my mind to the Higher Realms in prayer)

5. What is a mantra I can use to honor the other person’s Journey and let the drama go as best I can? (ex. “May they find their Truth and I find mine,” or “I honor his need to reach Understanding at his own pace.”)

6. When I see a drama begin to repeat itself, what can I say to my mind to reaffirm that this is just an opportunity for growth and not a life-or-death situation?  (ex-“Been there, done this, ready to do it again!” or “Welcome back, old bugger…I know you!”)

Over the past month we have investigated how challenging interactions allow us to grow spiritually.  You may wish to print and save our study of these pages in Oneness to review the next time you find yourself in a dramatic encounter with someone!  This book has many other powerful insights to share as well, so I hope you will take the time to peruse a copy at your leisure.

Our next Home Study course will dive into the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  Many of you have heard of this book and some may own it; copies are also likely available at your public library.  We will begin our study of this book in just over two weeks, so plan to secure a copy before then if you would like.  Remember, I will provide paraphrases and excerpts if you do not have a book by the time we start.  For those of you who finish your Oneness, pt. 3 homework ahead of schedule, you can read ahead in The Power of Now.  Our pages of interest will be pp. 178-188.

See you in a few weeks–and remember our mantra: Energy Underlies Everything.

In part 1 of our Home Study of the book Oneness, we talked about how to conduct ourselves energetically when confronted with difficult people or circumstances.  By first pausing to connect to our inner stillness, we can then respond from a place of self-awareness and Truth.  To review that lesson, please visit “Home Study: Oneness, pt.1.”

Today’s lesson discusses what our goal for any challenging interaction can be.  Is it to convince others of our point of view, abdicate our power to the person with the loudest voice, tolerate an unappealing compromise?  From the standpoint of spiritual growth, the answer is “none of the above.”  Let’s learn more…

Today’s text: Oneness by Rasha

Publisher: Earthstar Press; Copyright, 2003

Study pages: pp. 43-45

Background–Most of us know how tempting it is to want to be right–or at least be viewed by others as being right.  What results is an endless parade of interactions rooted in this deep need for affirmation.  When we are able to convince others of our point of view we feel validated; when we must acquiesce to another’s reasoning, we feel devalued.  Even when we “agree to disagree,” there is a sense of dissatisfaction when no clear victor claims the spoils of our emotional wars.  Yet, most of us believe there are no other options when it comes to managing relationships and challenging circumstances.  In fact there is another way, but our hearts have to grow into it, as described in Oneness, page 43:

“Once you have transcended your inclination to stage repeat performances of the dramas that have dominated your life (read: we choose to repeat our life dramas!) you are able to move forward to the next phase of the work at hand.  The choices you encounter from this point forth represent opportunities to translate discord into harmony…to transcend the need to be ‘right’ in deference to the possibility of emerging with a sense of completion.”

What this is essentially saying is that we start seeing challenges as opportunities not to win, but to stop playing the game entirely.  Instead of using an argument to convince others you are right, you can manage a disagreement by stating your Truth and allowing others to agree or disagree as they see fit.   On page 44 we read:

“Your objective now is to recognize all encounters as the opportunities for achieving harmony that they truly are.  By presenting your own perspective without attachment to outcome, you allow the optimum outcome for all concerned.  By planting the seed of your intent without the need to force it into fruition, you best serve your own interests as well as those of others.”

Of course, the problem comes when we are deeply attached to a certain outcome, so for some of us a bit of preparatory homework must be done; let’s back up a moment and discuss it.  As we know from the Grace and Clarity article, “Resistance = Suffering,” resistance in the form of attachment and aversion causes us to suffer.  When we insist things go our way or we insist others refrain from actions we deem unacceptable,  we are in resistance to any outcome but the one we consider appropriate–and suffering ensues.  So before some of us can speak our perspective “without attachment to outcome,” we must do some deep inner work of surrender.  I find practices that cultivate surrender like offering devotion to the Divine and cultivating faith that “all is in divine order” help us achieve freedom from attachment.  Once we are at that point, we can move to the final step of the work as described on pp. 44-45:

“The objective (in a moment of conflict) is not to win or be right, but rather to recognize that the current choices determine what the next set of choices are to be.  Winning, losing and begrudging compromise are recipes for repetition of the same script with a different cast of characters (sound familiar?!)  But once you become attuned, you will find that you are less concerned with triumphing than with maintaining equilibrium.”

Maintaining equilibrium–who knew that would become my big spiritual goal?  It sounds so NON-mystical, so unimpassioned, so full of…allowing.  And that is exactly what it is designed to do.  At this stage of the energetic growth game, our goal is not to win but to allow, thereby minimizing our own suffering/resistance and stepping into the Divine Flow.  To get clear on what we must do to get there, take a journal or piece of paper and consider the following:

1.  How often do I need to be right when in a disagreement?  Who do I usually feel compelled to convince?  Whose validation do I need the most?

2.  When I get into an argument, what can I say to myself to remember this is an opportunity for resolution, not a battle to be won? (ex. “Equilibrium, not victory” or “Speak your Truth and let go!”)

3. With which topics do I have the hardest time surrendering the need to be right? (ex. politics, family history, past hurts)

4. Who will I likely discuss those topics with in the future?

Once we get a sense of what our trigger topics are, who we usually discuss them with and how we will remind ourselves not to engage in battle, we are on our way to success.  I call it, “zooming out:” the willingness to see a conflict not as the interaction at hand but as the energies being exchanged and the damage being done to one’s equilibrium.  Still, there is balance to be had–repression is not the answer, either.  In the final installment of our Oneness Home Study, we will talk about how repressing your emotions  can actually slow your spiritual progress!

The study of spiritual texts comprises one of the most basic facets of spiritual education and illumination.  To help introduce others to manuscripts I have found life-changing, I am delighted to introduce a new Home Study section here at Grace and Clarity for your convenience.  Every week or two, we will dive into insightful passages from books authored by some of today’s leading spiritual teachers and intuitives.  You can follow along with a pen, journal and your own copy of the text, or simply take notes on passages straight from the Home Study page.  Be aware that the books I will be featuring have changed my life, becoming well-worn volumes in my personal library and are well worth the purchase.  If you find a particular book inspiring, I encourage you to support the author and purchase a copy of your own!  And now, to begin our first Home Study assignment–read on!

Today’s text: Oneness by Rasha

Publisher: Earthstar Press; Copyright, 2003

Study pages: pp. 34-38

Background–We are beginning a study of how to respond to interactions which create resistance in us.  Combustibility may arise due to a person, an activity or a location.  In this section of Oneness, we start by simply noticing the intensity of our experience and taking a breath in at that moment.  Here is a paraphrase from pp. 34-35:

When unbalanced, step back for a moment.  Withdraw your energies and cease conscious interaction with all that surrounds you.  Allow your awareness to guide you to a place of stillness deep within.  Become centered in the silence of that space.  Breathe deeply through your heart center and detach from the circumstances that have engaged you.  Allow yourself to feel the Light Energy of unconditional Love as It fills you completely.

Making that choice in the face of adversity is a learned reaction that you are encouraged to adopt and to practice in response to life’s dramas.  Shifting your Energy in this way serves to dispel the spiraling wave of diminished vibration that draws you ever deeper into imbalance.  Taking conscious command of the moment is the strongest possible response you can make, regardless of the nature of the circumstances.

Although the above description of Energy-shifting may sound like a visualization best practiced in meditation, the fact is such Energy shifts can be executed in any moment of challenge.  Even as another shares with you his or her disappointment or confusion, you can take a deep breath and center yourself in the silence of your inner stillness.  You can cultivate patience or forgiveness even as they speak.  If this is not possible, start by simply taking a deep breath and noticing your state of contracted emotion.  In time, you will be able to inch your way toward being more in tune with your emotions, eventually learning to temper them and finally being able to turn them into a lighter Energy such as compassion.  That said, take out a journal or piece of paper and let’s look at some specifics:

1. What two situations, people or events are most likely to make me feel contracted (angry, resentful, sad) during the week?

2. Close your eyes and imagine yourself taking a deep breath while that encounter unfolds.  What energies can you cultivate to shift out of that tense emotion? (compassion, gratitude, etc.)

3. Now imagine the situation again, with you responding from these Higher Energies.  What might be a response you could offer? (ex- “I might need some time to digest this.  Can we talk again later?”  “I feel very upset right now but I can also hear what you are saying.  Can we discuss this some more?”)

4. List some recurring emotional dramas that keep resurfacing over the years (ex-conflict with a sibling, resistance to authority).

5. What response could I use the next time this situation occurs?

Know that as we become more skillful in our responses to challenging interactions, we slowly defuse the toxic energies that can build over time.  The more we can identify our patterns of unhealthy reaction, the more likely we are to avoid such circumstances to begin with.  In the coming days, try recalling your notes from this study session when a challenging situation presents itself.  You may even want to put up a post-it note where challenges are likely to occur (work, in the car, etc).  Do your best to be on the look-out for chances to use your newfound awareness and response.  Next time, we will discuss how to allow an outcome that serves the Highest Good of all–even in difficult situations.