Grace and Clarity

Today we begin the third and final installment in our Home Study of  Positive Energy by Judith Orloff, M.D.  If you have not already caught up on parts one and two of our series, I encourage you to visit them in our archives.   Today’s topic is energy draining relationships–a concern for spiritual practitioners of all ages!

Today’s text: Positive Energy by Judith Orloff, M.D.

Published by: Three Rivers Press, 2004

Study page: p. 290-317

As with all Energy topics, it is difficult to put into words just what one might be experiencing in one’s inner awareness or Energy.  Judith Orloff describes people who take too much of our Energy–be it mental, physical or otherwise–as ‘vampires,’ which is a common term for such behavior.

Personally, I do not use this word because of its connotation of premeditation and evil.  What I prefer to remember is that all souls are in need of Light, and some tend to go about getting It in less conscious ways than others.  In most cases, those using such tactics are oblivious to the damage they are doing and are in so much pain they might be unable to change even if they became aware of their behavior.  It is also worth noting that many such tactics have been passed on from parent to child for generations…

Yet, regardless of another’s ignorance or intention to take Energy from you, you are still responsible for your own protection.  True spiritual practice is one of ultimate responsibility; there are no victims here.  This is where Judith Orloff and I agree wholeheartedly and on pages 290-291 she sets about highlighting some signs and common times Energy drain can occur.  Here are a few:

• We are more susceptible to Energy drain when we are sick, overworked and sleep-deprived
• You may feel your chest tighten, get a headache or feel nauseated when around certain people
• You may crave a nap or junk food after talking with such individuals
• Certain people may seem to stick to you no matter what you do to avoid them

In one of my favorite sections, Dr. Orloff describes common habits of those who try to take more of others’ Energy than they should.  You may be surprised to find a number of people in your life described almost to a “T” on pages 294-313.  Do some of these sound familiar?

• Energy tactics like the Sob Sister and the Drama Queen
• Energy tactics of Blaming or Incessant Talking
• The downright dirty tactics of the Go-for-the-Jugular Fiend

Consider marking tactics that are manifesting in your life and resolve to do whatever homework the author prescribes after such relevant passages.  Always remember: protecting your Energy is your responsibility and your spiritual growth will sink or swim based on your willingness to take charge of it.

If you need some inspiration, pages 314 and 315 have great suggestions for preserving and protecting your Energy.  Also keep your ears open for ideas from familiar advisors: yoga teachers, meditation coaches and massage therapists.  These people make Energy their lives and often have new and interesting methods for protecting your precious life force.

No one likes to think that their long-term friend or sweet little granny might be taking more Energy from them than they can afford.  But if we can learn to read the hot-spots and remember that many of these actions are done unconsciously, we can hold others in a place of compassion while still attending to our own spiritual needs.  In the end, it’s all about reunification–both for us and for them.

Taking a pen and a piece of paper or journal, contemplate the following this week:

1. Do I run into Energy-sapping tactics more often at work, with family or with friends?

2. Which of the author’s “Protect your Energy by…” suggestions do I need to follow?  Consider photocopying those instructions and keeping them near the site of your interactions with such people.

3. Who can I ask to help me be mindful of times I might be more susceptible to Energy drain due to fatigue, overwork etc?

4. Has this book enhanced my spiritual practice?  Do I have a copy I would like to read in full or do I need to look into purchasing one?

Over the past month we have investigated some powerful and effective tools for protecting our positive Energy.  If you found these excerpts inspiring, consider checking out more of Dr. Orloff’s books online at www.drjudithorloff.com

For additional Grace and Clarity book discussions, please peruse the other selections from our Home Study category.  We also invite you to experience more  uplifting insights from the Higher Realms at www.hopeofthenewage.com

In part 1 of our Home Study of the book Positive Energy, we discussed the common habit of rushing from task to task in today’s society.  We noted some simple ways to determine if we are rushing and observed how it keeps us from living in the Now.  To review our last discussion, please visit “Home Study: Positive Energy, pt.1.”  Today we will learn how to tell if we are living in the flow of life’s evolutionary Energy.

Today’s text: Positive Energy by Judith Orloff, M.D.

Published by: Three Rivers Press, 2004

Study page: p. 80-81

I love these two pages of text because they are so concise and illuminating.  They contain–in classic Orloff style–clear descriptions of how it feels to be both in the flow of life or fighting against it.  This concept is so important that my own spiritual Guides have mentioned it repeatedly over the course of our years together.

Perhaps the idea of flow is so fundamental because it describes the web of Energy within which we live every moment of our lives.  Whether we recognize it or not, we are all connected within a current of Energy which presents us with the circumstances and lessons we agreed to encounter in this life.  When we resist the very curriculum we set out to engage, we fight this larger current and therefore experience an energy of resistance and strain.

The ability to know if one is in the flow or not can certainly be sensed intuitively, but it can also be observed within various external life characteristics.  When we are resisting the flow of our own Evolution we not only sense it deep within but also see it manifest in our lives at large.  Illness, circumstantial challenges, relationship dramas and the like can all be signs of resisting life’s flow.  Dr. Orloff describes the symptoms of pushing against the flow of life on page 81.  Here are a few examples:

• feeling frazzled, impatient, desperate
• fixation on an object of obsession
• relationships are strained
• clenching during conflict rather that seeking compromise
• losing connection to a Higher Power

If you are feeling any of these symptoms in your daily life, chances are a part of your Energy is blocking the larger Universal Flow designed to help you grow into a more fulfilling life.  So what’s the good news?  That Flow can’t be blocked forever.  True, it can be stifled throughout your physical lifetime if you really force it away, but eventually we all return to the Source–which is the Source of all flow.  There we find our rest, our healing and our sense of inspiration to grow again.

Another bit of good news is that fighting life’s flow is so exhausting that most people cannot keep it up for an entire lifetime.  Eventually, most people will cease their resistance and just “give up”–which is actually an act of surrender that allows a healthy sense of flow to commence once again.  On pages 80-81 Dr. Orloff describes the signs of a life moving in tandem with the Universal Flow:

• acceptance of what Is
• not living in a sense of obsessive “overdrive”
• resolution is one’s goal during times of conflict
• time flows smoothly
• right timing is sought out in all choices
• feeling connected to a deeply spiritual state

Are you experiencing these fulfilling energies in your life?  If so, chances are good you are currently living in flow with your Higher Soul’s goals in this life.  Keep up the good work and stay resolved on continuing your positive Energy!

Taking a pen and a piece of paper or journal, contemplate the following this week:

1. What symptoms of “pushing against the flow” am I currently experiencing?

2. In what areas of my life do I seem to be fighting the flow the most (relationships, work, health)?

3. Which signs of positive flow am I currently manifesting?

4. Are there areas of my life that need more flow and if so, how can I draw that positive Energy into them?

In session three of our Home Study, we will be diving deeper into Positive Energy and investigating elements in our lives that drain our precious Life Energy…don’t miss it!  Be sure to click and follow our blog so you can be alerted when our next discussion commences!

For more book discussions, please peruse the other selections from our Home Study category.  We also invite you to experience other uplifting insights from the Higher Realms at www.hopeofthenewage.com

This month we begin a new Home Study series with the book Positive Energy by Judith Orloff, M.D.  This book is filled with insights regarding the power of spiritual Energy as well as tips for practical application.  One of the earliest books in my own spiritual tool kit, I highly recommend it as a resource for grounding the sometimes abstruse concepts of spirituality into the realm of our daily personal lives.  It’s definitely worth picking up!

Today’s text: Positive Energy by Judith Orloff, M.D.

Published by: Three Rivers Press, 2004

Study page: p. 34-38

Look at a picture of any bustling city, crowded interstate or busy airport and you will find a snapshot of a society in a hurry.  Never content with a moment of stillness, citizens of our western culture largely buzz from one appointment to another, sure that slowing down would mean the ruin of their daily schedules.  After all, slowing the pace might mean missing the next thing on our to-do list, even if that next thing is nothing more than a dash to the local mega store to check out the latest clearance racks.

As a society, we have begun rushing for the sake of things that are far from important.  No longer do we just rush to the hospital; now we rush to the gas station, to the kids’ soccer practice, to the neighborhood picnic for a little r & r.  But all this zipping around has begun to cost us something very precious: our quality of life.

On page 34, Judith Orloff lists some of the side effects of living a life addicted to a pace set too high.  She tells us that you can know you are rushing through your life when:

• Your energy feels scattered
• You have little or no awareness of your body
• You experience a subliminal or overt sense of panic ‘
• Your ability to listen is impaired, as is your memory for details

The problem is that rushing is often looked upon by society as a sign of being an important person, a go-getter who is dynamic and driven.  In fact, it has become such a part of many peoples’ identities that they eventually find this contracted energy addictive.  Dr. Orloff herself says (p. 35),

“I understand how addictive rushing can be…More than once I got a speeding ticket zipping from the gym to the market so I could get home to unwind in a tub.  I was rushing to relax!”

Sound familiar?  To me, too!  For years I worked with clients who struggled with the habit of rushing to get to our shared yoga classes together.  How counterproductive…yet how common!  If you are like most people, you can look into your daily schedule and find some rather ironic places rushing has wormed its way into your life.

To practice getting a sense of your life’s pace–and whether or not it feels too fast to you–I recommend trying Dr. Orloff’s meditation listed on pages 36-38.  This simple exercise is essentially like taking your rushing “temperature” to find out if you are running a little high or if your pace seems just right.  You may wish to mark these pages in your book and return to them a few times a year, just to check in with your comfort level.

Whether we are working in the busy world, raising busy children or busily retired, rushing can easily creep into our lives and rob us of the joy found only in the present moment.  If you sense this is a problem for you, I hope you will make time to analyze the questions below and pinpoint where you can make some changes to stop running and start living!

Taking a pen and a piece of paper or journal, contemplate the following this week:

1. What symptoms of rushing am I experiencing in my personal life?

2. Why do I rush? (see Dr. Orloff’s list on page 34, and add any others you can think of!)

3. Where do I rush to that is obviously counterintuitive (meditation or yoga class, a relaxing walk in the park)?

4. What small committment can I make to myself to stop rushing (drive the speed limit, speak more slowly, etc)?

In session two of our Home Study, we will be diving deeper into Positive Energy and learning about how we can tell if we are flowing with life, or pushing against its current…don’t miss it!  Be sure to click and follow our blog so you can be alerted when our next discussion commences!

For more book discussions, please peruse the other selections from our Home Study category.  We also invite you to experience other uplifting insights from the Higher Realms at www.hopeofthenewage.com