Grace and Clarity

1. Spend Time in Nature

Spending time outdoors can help enhance mental clarity, energize you and connect you to your loved ones and the environment. Schedule some outdoor time with family members during holiday get-togethers. Throwing a football, making snow angels, or ice-skating are a few outdoor activities that can interrupt the mental agitation that creeps in during a long holiday weekend with family.

2. Commit to Keeping it Positive

It’s easier to maintain a positive attitude when you arrive in that mental state.  Perhaps you’ve encountered the perennial pessimist, who floats around family gatherings leaching negativity into every conversation. You’re not going to change that person’s behavior.  But a positive attitude can change the energy of a room immediately.  Envision only what you would like to see happen in a given situation as opposed to what you don’t want to happen. Commit to keeping the mood light and positive.

3. Allow Yourself to Disengage

At some point during the holidays, a friend, family member or houseguest might become increasingly negative. Sometimes the best response is a non-response. It’s OK to walk away when a situation warrants some separation. By doing so, you’re able to maintain your personal boundaries and safeguard your energy.

4. Plan Fun Indoor Activities You Can Enjoy Together

Doing activities together is a great way to bond and form deeper emotional connections with those you love. Laughter is medicine. Make popcorn and watch comedies together to bring an air of lightheartedness into your time together. Decorating holiday cookies can be a creative way to interact, and playing board games or Charades can help encourage group participation.

5. Have a Plan for Pitfalls

You always have a choice in how you respond. If you know you’re entering a scenario that has repeatedly proven challenging, identify how you might be able to respond differently this time around.

For example, if you hate sports and your family wants to gather around the flat screen watching football, make a plan to take yourself out shopping, go for a walk, visit with a friend who lives nearby, or take in a movie. It’s OK to say no to some activities that will later leave you feeling overwhelmed or resentful. After all, this is your holiday too!

6. Inspire Fun Conversation

Get some creative conversation going.  Invite each person to share their favorite memory from the past year or their intention for the holidays.  A lighthearted and focused conversation that everyone can participate in helps keep the experience positive and can also create fun and lasting memories.

7. Take Time in Stillness 

Meditation is always a good way to return to your peaceful center, yet we often neglect our spiritual practices when we’ve stepped out of our usual routine.  Be sure to take a few moments at the beginning of each day to sit in stillness and get connected to your center. Done consistently, meditation will help you to see circumstances from a different perspective, and you’ll begin to feel less triggered by annoyances.

8. Be at Peace with Uncertainty and Imperfection

The holidays can be full of stress, guilt, and feelings of obligation. The pressure for the day to go smoothly, meals to be perfectly timed, and for everyone to get along adds undue stress to a gathering of family and friends. The holidays don’t have to be perfect!  Allow the day or event to unfold naturally and find the gifts in each moment along the way.

9. Take Time for Yourself

It’s easy to lose yourself in the chaos of the season. You must first tend to your own needs if you hope to accomplish everything on your holiday to-do list.  Take some time to reflect on what practices you do to keep you balanced throughout the year and adhere to them when things get crazy. If you’re feeling triggered, go for a walk outside, drink a cup of hot tea, enjoy time with a pet or spend time in stillness and prayer.

10. Always Come Back to Love

Everyone wants to feel seen, appreciated and part of the family. Yet, not everyone knows how to express themselves in positive ways.  If you find yourself in a less-than-desirable situation, stop and take a deep breath. Observe how you’re feeling in that moment, and ask yourself to return to love before proceeding. Even those few moments of inward focus can be enough for you to calm down and handle the situation with greater ease.