This week we conclude our three-part saga about healing one’s body, mind and life. What you are about to read is a true story, recounted with the permission of the woman who lived it whose name has been changed for privacy. If you have not read chapters one and two, I encourage you to take in the inspiring story of a courageous person who would not let the past dictate her future. And now, the conclusion of “Laura’s Hope for Healing…”
I think by anyone’s standards Laura’s story is an impressive one: A courageous woman has the fortitude to heal herself of an agonizing illness, effectively putting an end to generations of emotional anguish and physical torment. But the story doesn’t stop there–not even close–because as it happens, Laura was not the only one in her family needing a new relationship with her body.
As Laura faithfully crafted a balanced life day by careful day, healing Energy began to expand outward like ripples on a pond, first saving the life of her oldest son and later bringing healing to her son’s relationship with his father.
When Laura was a young woman and had found out she was pregnant, she had been delighted. But when she learned her first child would be a boy, she was relieved in a much deeper way. All during her pregnancy she had prayed for a son; she was sure if she had a girl she would pass her eating disorder on to her child. After discovering the baby’s gender she thought, “I won’t even have to pay attention to all those issues…” but things were just a little more complicated than that.
You see, when Laura was a little girl herself, she was starved for safety and security. She used to love going to a special friend’s house after school just so she could get hugs from the girl’s nurturing mother. A woman with an ample bosom and an even bigger heart, this kindhearted mother kept Laura well-supplied with warm hugs, tasty treats and a sense of emotional stability. Her friend’s house was the only place she felt accepted unconditionally, and she vowed that her children would never have to go elsewhere to find that kind of love.
Laura’s desire to provide an accepting, loving household was a priority as her son grew older. But it was not long until it became clear something was wrong. At an early age, her son began snacking as a form of self-soothing. His small habit soon turned into compulsive overeating, but Laura was determined that he should never be deprived.
Haunted by visions of her mother spitting food into the sink and her own ordeals with self-starvation, Laura maintained an accepting attitude regarding all her son did. Only later did she realize that this also meant she had not established any healthy boundaries, either.
As her son got heavier, Laura fell deep into denial. It turns out watching someone else gain weight is a lot like gaining it yourself: It tends to creep up on you and it is not something anyone likes to admit. Indeed, many of Laura’s friends chose not to mention her son’s appearance out of a sense of compassionate social decorum.
What’s more, Laura herself could not see her son’s condition any more clearly than she could see her own. It turns out the skewed perception she had of her own body made it likewise impossible to see others’ bodies clearly, a common side-effect of eating disorders.
Because of this distorted perception and the silence surrounding her son’s health, Laura lived in silent guilt. She soon had two more children and found it necessary to attend to their needs, as well. Her son continued his compulsive overeating and by the time I met her, Laura’s son had become dangerously obese.
Both Laura and her son lived in a kind of mental prison, each hiding dark secrets about body image and food. But when Laura began working with me and healing herself in earnest, she was also able to slowly begin tackling those very same issues with her son. As she began dismantling her lifelong eating disorder, Laura gained the courage and understanding necessary to help her son address his own addiction to food. In the face of their combined love for one another, the bars of unworthiness, guilt and shame could no longer hold them in.
During the summer of 2010 Laura scheduled her son to meet with a panel of health consultants to determine her son’s need for bariatric surgery. The doctors agreed that it was the best option for him and Laura and her son began the long process of getting him scheduled for the procedure. But not everyone was convinced that surgery was the best way forward.
Laura’s ex-husband was opposed to the procedure from the start. Her son’s father had struggled with admitting the boy’s condition almost as much as she had and now that surgery was in his future his dad stalled out. With what she later described as the fierceness of a lioness protecting her cub, Laura recalled one particularly daunting evening when she went to her ex-husband’s house and laid it all on the line. If she had to take out a second mortgage on her house she would, she vowed, “but our son is having that surgery.”
Laura’s determination helped inspire her apathetic ex-husband, who finally got behind her efforts to get their son get the medical attention he needed. The pain of facing his son’s condition faded into an inspiration to help find him the best possible care. Not long after his surgery, their son joyfully began his life again and entered college. Though they do not live together under one roof, this group of souls has journeyed together from resistance into redemption–all because one woman had the courage to face her own Truth.
Nearly five years after our first phone call, Laura is now savoring the most joyful time in her life. I knew Laura had healed herself when she told me about her annual spine curvature measurement, which monitors the condition that brought us together so many years ago. Initially, doctors had told her to expect a more deformed lower back as she aged. The most optimistic goal, they had said was to hope that the progression of the curve would someday begin to slow.
Recently, Laura informed me that she had just returned from another spine curvature evaluation with her chiropractor. As always, the degree of the bump was given a numerical value, but this time the tests did not show her back curvature slowing or even stopping. Instead, her numerical assessment revealed that her spinal curve had actually reversed itself.
The doctor noted that he and the other chiropractors he had consulted with had never seen such results. To see skeletal material shift in reverse was unheard of—until now. At her most recent check-up, her spinal curvature had gone from the original 44 degrees of curve to an astonishing 40. “To clarify,” he said, “your bones are…straightening themselves.” Even her loyal massage therapist said that Laura now has a healthier back than most people she works on every day.
Laura’s tenacity, courage and power have won me over as an admirer and friend. Now free of an eating disorder she thought she would never live without, Laura is a dynamic example of health and empowerment to her three children. She lives each day to the fullest and delights in being able to just lie in the sun and read a book, free of the anxiety and fear that used to rule her life.
Laura continues to surge toward freedom in her body, heart and mind. Every time we talk, she reminds me that we can each be a ripple of change and that there’s no telling who our lives will inspire next. Just look who Laura’s story touched today…
For more inspiration, please peruse other selections from our Inspirational Stories category. Thank you for visiting!
Grace and Clarity 